It’s only 11:18 am and I’m already wishing the day was over. I think it’s a combination of bad nights, already aching back and fatigue. I’m hoping it’s IBS-related and not because my iron’s already been depleted.
When you’ve done your best to inculcate good into your children, when you know you’ve definitely modelled only the best, and they still get angry at each other and snap-things they themselves they’ve never seen in you, the back pain and fatigue only increase.
When you clean the house and a few minutes later it’s looking even worse than before, and what is probably a molehill looks like a mountain and their own chores are waiting for them… You know, it’s one of those days.
But “those” days also have their positives. We had a good first school session of the day. So much so that they didn’t want to stop. And it’s a blessing that I’m doing this so I can at least teach lying in bed when the pain is too great. Working in England was pure torture. My body screamed till it could take it no more. This home education gig makes life easier.
The other positive. I love cooking. And I love naptime. No, not my naptime, the children’s nap time. Because it’s then that I can rest and let my guard down. It’s then I can admit that my body’s struggling. And it’s when I gain strength for the next activity. Cooking!! I enjoy cooking and at least after I’ve lain down, I can do it with a smile on my face.
Naptime is also when I do a bulk of my mentoring and ‘loving’ of young ladies who have
conned themselves into believing come to the conclusion that I’m capable of much love and that think I have knowledge
to share. It’s my time to love, to cry, to laugh with my young sisters. I mean, when someone asks you to get rid of every picture from their FB album that is immodest and inappropriate and doesn’t reflect the path they are now on, you just HAVE to laugh. Especially when you’d never spoken to them about modesty. Naptime allows me to do that.
And yes, I’m still doing my Honours so the last few minutes of naptime help me do some reading. I stopped because they changed the program but I just felt I couldn’t waste 3 subjects. I just don’t know which direction I’ll take or whether or not I’ll even finish it. Right now I’m doing one subject per year in the hopes they’ll resurrect the counselling qualification it was linked to. If not…
I’m thankful for naptimes! It’s my little bit of ‘me’ time after a long day… OK, the day hasn’t been that long! We’ve only been awake since 4am. And when you’re having one of those days and the housework is waiting, the cooking is waiting, that time of silence allows me to remember Who I am working for. Who owns my body. And that He does not require perfection from His imperfect vessel. He knows my strengths and my weaknesses. He allows the thorn in my flesh and He knows its purpose. And so I bow down and submit.
Thankful for having “one of those days.” They remind me of the blessings I have!